Isambard Crater

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Posts by Isambard Crater

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  32

  DA myself to relieve great pressure?

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my lifelong mental illnesses, fuelled significantly by the borg, are very bad at the moment and result in me missing lots of midweek meetings, but i haven't missed a sunday in years except the occasional vacation.. the nature of my mental and emotional illnesses mean that i, as a physically in and mentally out pimo, take to heart very painfully admonishment from the platform to never miss meetings, preach all i can, and so on.. okay, i report 3 hours each month on average and no elder has ever said anything, but when they make comments on the platform, i feel such great guilt and shame, but also anger, as they do not understand my illnesses and when i do mention my situation to elders, they kind of minimise and joke about it.. some other sisters in my congregation started "officially" not attending midweek meetings a few year's ago because of their own health circumstances, but i know for a fact that some elders look down on them for this reason, not showing real understanding deep down even if they do on the surface.. i have reached the point where i want to hand in a da letter as a cry for help, or more like a clear indicator to them that when i say i'm not well enough to attend midweek, i really mean it and it's not just an excuse.

  sure, i'm only 42, but i can still be too fragile to go out at night with a 30 minute drive both ways..

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  Isambard Crater

  I already realised it's not the truth in 2014 and have been stumbling on for family reasons only since then.

  When I mentioned a cry for help, I don't really want the elders to help, as "preach more, pray more" isn't the answer for me - but what I want is for them to outwardly say that if I feel the best I can give means missing midweek meetings til I feel a bit better, that's "ok" as long as I listen on the phone system or something.

  What I can't bear is my perception that every time someone on the platform looks in my direction when talking about spiritually weak ones or opportunities to pioneer, that they're thinking and talking about me.

  Since starting to miss lots of mostly midweek meetings, nobody has officially talked to me, arranged a shepherding visit or showed any genuine sign of love and concern. Ironically - and predictably - the only time my group overseer mentioned a a shepherding call was the week the Circuit Overseer was here, just to make the elder look good. So I refused the offer and was busy anyway.

  I guess my fade started in 2014 but I just want to feel more comfortable with it, not feeling the guilt for missing midweek meetings and having to back out of many oh-so-wonderful (sarcasm) field service demonstrations and stuff like that. But because the J.W's don't recognise mental illness, or at least say preaching and praying can really help (note: not if you're PIMO like me), I feel they're always glaring at me and on my back, even if that's just me exaggerating the feelings and perception.
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  32

  DA myself to relieve great pressure?

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my lifelong mental illnesses, fuelled significantly by the borg, are very bad at the moment and result in me missing lots of midweek meetings, but i haven't missed a sunday in years except the occasional vacation.. the nature of my mental and emotional illnesses mean that i, as a physically in and mentally out pimo, take to heart very painfully admonishment from the platform to never miss meetings, preach all i can, and so on.. okay, i report 3 hours each month on average and no elder has ever said anything, but when they make comments on the platform, i feel such great guilt and shame, but also anger, as they do not understand my illnesses and when i do mention my situation to elders, they kind of minimise and joke about it.. some other sisters in my congregation started "officially" not attending midweek meetings a few year's ago because of their own health circumstances, but i know for a fact that some elders look down on them for this reason, not showing real understanding deep down even if they do on the surface.. i have reached the point where i want to hand in a da letter as a cry for help, or more like a clear indicator to them that when i say i'm not well enough to attend midweek, i really mean it and it's not just an excuse.

  sure, i'm only 42, but i can still be too fragile to go out at night with a 30 minute drive both ways..

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• 

  Isambard Crater

  My lifelong mental illnesses, fuelled significantly by the Borg, are very bad at the moment and result in me missing lots of midweek meetings, but I haven't missed a Sunday in years except the occasional vacation.

  The nature of my mental and emotional illnesses mean that I, as a physically in and mentally out PIMO, take to heart very painfully admonishment from the platform to never miss meetings, preach all I can, and so on.

  Okay, I report 3 hours each month on average and no elder has ever said anything, but when they make comments on the platform, I feel such great guilt and shame, but also anger, as they do not understand my illnesses and when I do mention my situation to elders, they kind of minimise and joke about it.

  Some other sisters in my Congregation started "officially" not attending midweek meetings a few year's ago because of their own health circumstances, but I know for a fact that some elders look down on them for this reason, not showing real understanding deep down even if they do on the surface.

  I have reached the point where I want to hand in a DA letter as a cry for help, or more like a clear indicator to them that when I say I'm not well enough to attend midweek, I really mean it and it's not just an excuse. Sure, I'm only 42, but I can still be too fragile to go out at night with a 30 minute drive both ways.
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  21

  Watchtower Study June 18 from April 2017 issue

  by BluesBrother in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/watchtower-study-april-2017/judge-of-all-earth-always-does-what-is-right/.

  the judge of all the earth always does what is right.

  intended as a confidence builder in the organization ..see what you think.. theme is from deuteronomy but it is really highlighting that passage in genesis where abraham had a dialogue with god, (gen.18) would god destroy sodom if 50 righteous men would perish?

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  Isambard Crater

  I couldn't stomach this Watchtower study. As someone with depression and low self esteem who can still tell an injustice and other negative events or occurrences for what they are, I didn't like how the study dumped most of it on YOU, the one who believes and perceives he was wronged. Shut up and don't say a bad word about the Organization, trust in Jehovah and remain loyal. Kind of reminded me of the injustices made regarding child abuse and how congregants are told to shut up, not talk negatively and wait on Jehovah patiently, talking only to the elders but nobody else.
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  29

  Disfellowshipped for being complicit in someone else's sin - really?!

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a close friend of mine who is pimo (only staying in for family reasons) in a neighboring congregation called me in tears tonight saying her dad (elder) is telling her he is seriously considering reporting her to her local elders and she could get disfellowshipped.. the reason?

  because she is complicit in a gross sin, according to him, by going with her best friend (not a j.w.

  ) when the friend had an abortion.

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  Isambard Crater

  It's a small town where everybody knows everything.

  We all became friends after attending depression and anxiety counselling together a few years ago.

  All this emotionally damaging trauma created by the Father and Elders is the last thing any of us need, but the straw and rafter really does apply to this Organization.
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  29

  Disfellowshipped for being complicit in someone else's sin - really?!

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a close friend of mine who is pimo (only staying in for family reasons) in a neighboring congregation called me in tears tonight saying her dad (elder) is telling her he is seriously considering reporting her to her local elders and she could get disfellowshipped.. the reason?

  because she is complicit in a gross sin, according to him, by going with her best friend (not a j.w.

  ) when the friend had an abortion.

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  Isambard Crater

  A close friend of mine who is PIMO (only staying in for family reasons) in a neighboring congregation called me in tears tonight saying her dad (elder) is telling her he is seriously considering reporting her to her local elders and she could get disfellowshipped.

  The reason? Because she is complicit in a gross sin, according to him, by going with her best friend (not a J.W.) when the friend had an abortion. The friend who had an abortion is registered blind and suffers from PTSD so could hardly travel 2 hours and 30 miles to the clinic on her own, and she had nobody to support her, so my PIMO J.W. friend went with her.

  Ok, abortion is murder in the view of many religious folk, but my PIMO J.W. friend strongly felt that her vulnerable friend needed support at this emotional time. Little did she know it could get her DF'ed. Her dad tells her that even if she doesn't get DF'ed, he and her mom still won't talk to her much because they think her accompanying her friend to the clinic was grossly wrong.
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  If Christians are required to be willing to die for one another, the ransom wasn't such a big deal, because...

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...jesus was raised 3 days later to a wonderful position in the heaven and now reigns as king, apparently.

  but if a christian died for a fellow believer, which they regularly tell us from the platform that we should be prepared to do, the person who gave their life would be 'dust' for goodness knows how long, with an unknown future hope.. if someone asked me to die a painful death to save millions of people, knowing i would feel great in a few days' time, i'd probably do what jesus did too..

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  Isambard Crater

  ...Jesus was raised 3 days later to a wonderful position in the heaven and now reigns as king, apparently. But if a Christian died for a fellow believer, which they regularly tell us from the platform that we should be prepared to do, the person who gave their life would be 'dust' for goodness knows how long, with an unknown future hope.

  If someone asked me to die a painful death to save millions of people, knowing I would feel great in a few days' time, I'd probably do what Jesus did too.
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  2

  Possible to watch the Chelmsford Bethel update video online

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i saw it at the meeting this week and was horrified at how corporate and commercial it was, plus all the tourism stuff like kids getting photos with caleb and sophia, so wondered if it's possible to download or at least view again online somewhere?.

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  Isambard Crater

  Is there anywhere it can be viewed online? I want to see it again and save it.
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  29

  Today's Watchtower; if GB say celebrity adulation is wrong, why do they pose for pics and sign autographs?

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  says it all really.

  total hypocrisy once again..

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  Isambard Crater

  Says it all really. Total hypocrisy once again.
• 
  2

  Possible to watch the Chelmsford Bethel update video online

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i saw it at the meeting this week and was horrified at how corporate and commercial it was, plus all the tourism stuff like kids getting photos with caleb and sophia, so wondered if it's possible to download or at least view again online somewhere?.

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  2. 
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  Isambard Crater

  I saw it at the Meeting this week and was horrified at how corporate and commercial it was, plus all the tourism stuff like kids getting photos with Caleb and Sophia, so wondered if it's possible to download or at least view again online somewhere?
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  6

  BBC Radio 4 feature on J.W child Abuse

  by Isambard Crater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  on the radio this morning.

  here is the link:.

  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08njt79.

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  Isambard Crater

  On the radio this morning. Here is the Link:

  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08njt79

  UK people can download the audio.